Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day Two: It's Not Just About Sex

A lot of what makes a great relationship work, is what happens outside the bedroom. I try to start out the day with giving my husband a back scratch, or massage. We carpool to work much of the time, and when he drops me off we leave each other with a kiss. Those type of things are small, but help our relationship.

Experts say that there should be a ratio that is 5 to 1: 5 positive things done {holding hands, compliments, a back massage} for every 1 negative {arguing, negative tone}.  

Studies show that even a 20 to 30 second hug can raise oxytocin levels in both women and men.

Track all the ways you say or do good things to your partner. You may find that you do and say a lot, or you may discover that you need to share more positive things.

Positive Things to Keep Track of:
  • Hug/embrace
  • Hold hands
  • Kiss
  • Say, "I love you"
  • Call during the day to say "hi"
  • Compliments
  • Email each other
  • Eat meals together
  • Talk about each other's day
  • Do chores together
  • Go on dates
  • Watch movies or TV together
  • Go out with other people together
  • Have common hobbies
  • Go on trips together
I kept track of these things. We are really good about all of them except for going out on date nights and having trips together. It's hard with little ones and having opposite work schedules. Those are the things we have to work on. I am glad that we manage to eat together. Much of the time we are both in the kitchen working with one another to get meals underway. During this time we talk about our day.

I decided to get the kids in on making daddy/my husband to feel loved. I filled a whole pad of sticky notes with love messages. Since I knew I was getting home before my husband, the kids were given the task of putting the sticky notes throughout the house. It was a game to them, it was a message to me. A message saying: I love you so much!

It Says "We Heart U Daddy". I made many of them!
The sticky notes were all over the kitchen, stuck to the TV, stuck to Daddy's alarm clock, on all the doors, lets just say we put them everywhere!

Can you tell he is happy? It was super fun for everyone, and I got my message across.

For more information about the Intimacy Experiment, make sure to check out K-Y Brand's Facebook Page, Couples Place.

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. All opinions expressed in this article are my own and not influenced in any way by anyone. If you have any questions about this review, please email me at: alissa4illustration AT hotmail DOT COM.

1 comment:

  1. Am sure Sample messages will help u and ur children to express ur love on him :)