Friday, March 11, 2011

Day Seven: Sometimes a Fantasy

It really helps to have some guidance when navigating your sexuality. Today is about discovering your own personal "Love Map."

"Love Map" was first thought of in 1980 by Dr. John Money of Johns Hopkins University. It represents our erotic desire blue print. It should have your private fantasies  and why you gravitate towards them.

It's hard to filter out all the outside notations of what sex is supposed to be. Pop stars, TV and the internet all portray sex to be easy, and it's somethings you and your partner have to work at.

Exercise Day Fun:

  • Things you will need: Paper and a pen.
  • Describe your most erotic experiences. This can or doesn't have to include actually having sex.
  • This could even include something that you watched or read that turned you on.
  • List one or many of these experience(s).
Ask Yourself These Questions:

  • When you think about the erotic experience, does it still turn you on?
  • Did any part of your experience feel odd, and how did that make you feel?
  • Have you tried to bring this experience into your sexual life now?
  • Do your thoughts make you feel ashamed, or good?
  • How have your thoughts evolved over time?
External Turn-ons and Turn-offs: 
  • Start to think about what things do turn you on with your partner and yourself.
  • Examples: Scent of a perfume, what someone looks like with less clothes on. 
  • Think about what doesn't turn you on.
  • Examples: Bad jokes, dirty, not shaved or goatees.
  • Write down the following: 
  • Your "favorite" sexual fantasy. 
  • Elements of the fantasy that arouse you.
  • The change in your fantasy.
  • If it's something that you do or do not want to play out.
Use these maps to explore territory that is uncharted.
Exercise Two Night Fun
  • Use your thoughts to explore and act on variety in the bedroom.
  • Present to your partner a fantasy and two things that you've never thought about.
  • Your partner is to guess, and then you come clean. It is then time to talk about it. Possibly act on it.
  • If your partner is against it, don't push the issue.
 Discuss the Exercises:
  • Was it hard bringing up your fantasy to your partner?
  • How did your partner react?
For more information about the Intimacy Experiment, make sure to check out K-Y Brand's Facebook Page, Couples Place.

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. All opinions expressed in this article are my own and not influenced in any way by anyone. If you have any questions about this review, please email me at: alissa4illustration AT hotmail DOT COM.

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